Memories

I found entirely too many old photos today.

I'm tired of feeling angry when I find a picture of someone who betrayed me, tired of feeling regret when I see the face of someone I no longer talk to.

I'm tired of missing the "old days" when it was okay to be stupid and reckless.

I'm tired of missing doing donuts with Joseph, tearing up Fireweed with the old gang, late night rides in CG's awesome car, having a great conversation with Tanner, being a mallrat with Gene, hanging out with Jasmine and Corinne at lunch, gaming till three in the morning at Stephen's, going to raves and seeing Caleb or Chelle, being a nerd with Ryan, watching anime and listening to Jrock with Heather.

I'm tired of missing all those things, because they aren't in my life anymore. I barely get to talk to Heather and Ryan, and I've lost most contact with everyone else who I haven't cut out of my life.

I'm tired of being angry and bitter for shit that my parents (and other people whom I stupidly trusted) have done to me.

I'm leaving for college soon. I don't know anyone there. I've wanted to get out of this shithole town, because everyone who I cared about left and I'm sick of the bad memories and stupid people, but now that I am leaving, I'm scared.

I've been alone most of my life, and I've found someone who I love and I don't want to leave him.

This sucks.