Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Holidays + Recently

Okay, sorry, yes. I'm finally updating about December/January/etc.

For Christmas, Ryo, Maura, and I went to Erin's where her & her mom (Ginny?) were making dinner. Aki came over later. We ate, hung out, had a sock circle, Ryo tickled Aki (which was hilarious), etc. Then we went to Tokyo Dome City and did purikura, then we walked to KaraokeKan. On the way, we found a 7-11 with Slurpees! I don't think I've had a Slurpee in like 5 years. It was awesome. Karaoke was fun. Then everyone went home.

I already posted about the amazing Dir en grey fanclub show on the 27th.

For New Year's Day, we didn't really do anything. But a day or two after that, Ryo & I went to the Asakusa for Hatsumoude (New Year's Celebration). We ate yakisoba and jagaimo and rode in a rickshaw! It was fun.

For Setsubun (February 3rd, Bean-Throwing Ceremony, the day before the beginning of spring in Japan), we made an oni (demon) mask that Ryo wore while Maura threw the beans. It was silly and fun.

I read Jake Adelstein's Tokyo Vice. Everyone who has an interest in Japan should read it. He came to my Crime, Deviance, & Social Control in Japan class today to talk to us. He contributes to http://www.japansubculture.com/, a very interesting and informative site about the less sparkly parts of "cool Japan." His book will never be printed in Japanese officially unless he changes some things, most notably the mentions of certain companies as being either fronts of or friendly to the yakuza. Wonderful book, at times hilarious, but mostly depressing.

Yesterday I went to the Polaris Project lecture. Polaris Project is an NPO dealing with human trafficking (http://www.polarisproject.org/). Ryo came too. He said he was ashamed that Japan is so bad at dealing with these kinds of issues. I told him not to worry, because every country has its own bullshit and dirty secrets and bad histories.

Steff is staying with us while her & Maura go on Miyavi's latest tour. It snowed the night she got here, and again later. Snow in Tokyo is not rare, but seldom happens in winter.

Ryo had an interview in Ginza yesterday. I hope he gets the job. Applying for careers over here is insane.

I will try to be better about updating in the future. Sorry.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

AUGH

(Okay, yes, I know, it's almost February. I promise I'll write about winter break when I have the proper amount of time and the right mindset. Sorry.)

I fucking hate this.

I'm fucking tired of being angry.

I'm tired of stupid little shit pissing me off.

Why can't I just let shit go?

I've tried breathing exercises, counting to ten, all that shit. It doesn't work.

Why?

Why am I so goddamn angry all the goddamn time?

I'm tired of being filled with rage.

I enjoy schadenfreude way too much.

I'm harsh and snarky and cynical and sarcastic and pessimistic.

When I'm not angry, I'm sad or just... numb. Very rarely am I content (like when I'm having a good time with my friends or Ryo sends me a sweet message), and even rarer are my moments of actual happiness.

I'm sure my friends are sick of my shittastic attitude as well.

FUCK.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What Might Have Been

Sure I think about you now and then
But it's been a long, long time
I've got a good life now, and I've moved on
So when you cross my mind...

I try not to think about what might have been
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin' in
And there's no way to know
What might have been

We can sit and talk about this all night long
And wonder why we didn't last
Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know
But we'll have to leave them in the past...

So try not to think about what might have been
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin' in
And there's no way to know
What might have been

That same old look in your eyes
It's a beautiful night, I'm so tempted to stay
But too much time has gone by
We should just say good bye, and turn and walk away...

And try not to think about what might have been
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin' in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
No we'll never know, what might have been

"What Might Have Been" by Lonestar


Yes, I know, "WTF SHE KNOWS A COUNTRY SONG!?" It's all I used to hear with my mom in the car and stuff as a kid.

Ignoring the country part...

Brandon was kind enough to walk me to the station tonight after our Kanji class. He's from Portland, so talking to him got me kinda nostalgic about Pacific, and our conversation made me think of various "What if I had..." scenarios.

Life is choices and trade-offs and sacrifices. I've learned that the hard way.

What if I had gone on the Euro trip before college?

What if I had stayed in Alaska?

What if I had stayed at Pacific?

What if I had stayed here for this past summer?

Some of the possible answers to these questions make me shudder (hooray hindsight being 20/20, yeah?). And yet, some of them make me sad that I'm missing out on certain things.

I know it's stupid to wonder about that kind of thing, but I think it's normal and unavoidable.

I've left behind family, close friends, and lovers to try to follow my dreams. Sometimes I wonder if I've made a mistake. Other times I'm glad I made that choice.



rabblerabble /emoness

Saturday, January 1, 2011

First Dir en grey Fanclub Show

So as the title says, I went to my first fan club show on 12/27. The show was at Zepp Tokyo, which is in Odaiba, kinda close to ShinKiba for those of you not very familiar with Tokyo.

I was ticket #230, meaning I was really close up front. There were literally two or three people in front of me, then the guard rail, then security pit, then the stage.

I was pleasantly surprised with the set list. They played stuff from GAUZE and MACABRE. Very pleased. It was a great mix of old and new stuff.

Set list from the show:
Mazohyst of Decadence
Obscure
Zan
Merciless Cult
Doukoku to Sarinu
Agitated Screams of Maggots
The Deeper Vileness
Bugaboo
Spilled Milk
Deity
Dozing Green
Hydra -666-
Repetition of Hatred
Beautiful Dirt
Reiketsu Nariseba

Encore:
Ain't Afraid to Die
Lotus
The IIID Empire
Increase Blue
Stuck Man
Hageshisa to Kono Mune no Naka de Karamitsuita Shakunetsu no Yami


On the train from Osaki-eki to Tokyo Teleport (a station close to Zepp), I saw a girl with a Dir en grey bag sitting across from me. Her name was Maria, she and her boyfriend Jun were going to the show. Apparently she's 31! She doesn't look it. We met up with some of her other friends and went to the venue. I had to part with them though because I needed to find a coin locker and they had lower ticket numbers.

There was a decent number of foreigners there, which is good. I wish Kris, Sarah, Jacey, Heather, and Robby could've been with me.

It was a tight-packed show. I was surrounded by short girls and relatively tall guys, but I could still see just fine.

Once again, I got a good view of Kyo, Toshiya, and Kaoru. I don't think they ever change places on stage except when they're runnin around.

Kyo came out onstage with raybans and a fedora... and then revealed his disturbingly shaved head to us all. Blegh.

Toshiya as usual was wearing a skirt, but he also had on a suit jacket, vest, button up shirt, and tie. It was really cute.

I could barely ever see Shinya, which is normal. He's still entirely too thin.

Die looked like he was in a hair care product commercial the entire time, cuz he was right under the aircon.

Kaoru looked like terrifying badass leader-sama, as usual.

Kyo's pronunciation of Russian is still not the best, lol.

My body hurt so bad after the show, especially my feet and head. Elbows hurt when they slam into your head. At Diru shows, even when you don't wanna jump or headbang, you have to, because it's so crowded and tightly packed.

My throat also hurt from screaming/growling/singing along.

The feeling I get when I'm at a Dir en grey show is what I imagine devout Christians feel when they go to church.

Although, while waiting for the encore, I almost feel asleep. I had no energy because I hadn't eaten yet that day.

They finally came back on for the encore, and the piano intro to Ain't afraid to die came on.

I. LOST. MY. SHIT.

I started bawling. Not just crying, I mean huge wracking sobs. I felt a rib pop. That song is so setsunai, meaning sad and nostalgic. I was the only one, either. The crying girl next to me took my hand and held it, like Mikan did at the Miyavi show in Roppongi when he played Girls, be ambitious. It's shit like that makes me proud to be a member of the Domestic Fucker Family, a Japanese Zombie Hero (and adopted honorary CoMiyavi).

If I hadn't been packed in so tightly, I would have crumpled to the floor. I haven't cried that hard since Dakota dropped me off at PDX, which was the last day I saw pretty much most of my Pacific friends.

That song has so much meaning and memory for me, that to hear them play it at my first fanclub show was beautiful and sad and awesome all at the same time.

This is the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cpy36zgc-xA Please note the video has pretty much nothing to do with the song, as is the case with most VK PVs.

The next song they played, LOTUS, is their new single, which hasn't been released yet. It sounds pretty good.

I wanted to buy a shirt after the show, but the line for goods was crazy long. =( Sad panda.

Gackt sent Shinya flowers. o.0;

I didn't stick around for demachi because I wanted to get home on time.

(I'll write about the holidays later, I promise)

Monday, November 29, 2010

A Tattoo-Themed Rant

You have been warned. *side note: this is not directed at anyone I know in real life*

Those of you who have been around me the past few months have probably already heard this rant, and I did post something about it as a facebook status.

Anyways.

*ahem*

So you want a tattoo. Fine. Can't decide on what you want, but you're gung-ho on getting one? Most places have flash. Flash are the old, tried and true things, shit like koi fish and butterflies and those stupid fucking naval stars. Most tattoo artists will change minor details on those designs if you so wish.

Say you don't want flash. Say you saw someone else's tattoo and thought it was the best tattoo since the invention of the tattoo gun. You take a picture of someone else's tattoo in, and you get the exact same tattoo done.

If you are one of these people, YOU ARE A MASSIVE BLEEDING CUNT. I hope people like you get hepatitis from the studio you went to, because if a tattoo "artist" agreed to tattoo something on you, knowing it was someone else's, they are just as much of a massive bleeding cunt as you are.

If I EVER found out someone else had the exact same tattoo that I have that Sonali designed for me, or the tattoo I got dedicated to my grandfathers, I would beat the living hell out of the person with the tattoo, the "artist" who did the tattoo, and the artist who did my original for letting that shit happen.

Now, if you want something similar (not the same) to somebody's tattoo (that wasn't originally flash), but want to alter it to the point where it does look somewhat original, that's different, especially if you've gotten permission from the person.

Copying a tattoo is unforgivable.

I don't care if you're "dedicated" to a certain celebrity, copying their tattoos is not only a dickbag move, it proves that you're fucking pathetic. It doesn't make you share anything with your idol, and if they saw you with an exact fucking copy of their tattoo, I would hope they'd spit in your face.

Logo/image related to a band/artist? Fine.

Portrait of a person? Fine.

Song lyrics? Fine.

Something more than one person is bound to have, like the Batman symbol or an Art Nouveau piece? Fine.

BUT NOT OTHER PEOPLE'S GODDAMNED TATTOOS. Rearranging tattoos does not help your case at all.

I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've seen/heard many other people talk about this kind of thing, including a SuicideGirl (a few different people had copied her tattoo), on ModBlog, etc.

DON'T.

COPY.

ORIGINAL.

TATTOOS.

PERIOD.



Yes, this rant was written because I was once again searching in vain for a good picture of Kyo's completed back piece, and I found a fuckton of pictures of stupid twats who have copied his (and other Jrocker's) tattoos.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Music

So I finally found the setlist from the Diru show I went to on the 28th!:

SA BIR
OBSCURE(-New Version-)
Merciless Cult
Agitated Screams of Maggots
RED SOIL
HAGESHISA TO, KONO MUNE NO NAKA DE KARAMITSUITA SHEKUNETSU NO YAMI
-ZAN- (I think this was also the new version)
BUGABOO
INWARD SCREAM
SHOKUBENI
ROTTING ROOT
dead tree
INWARD SCREAM (why is this on here twice?)
DOZING GREEN
GAIKA, CHINMOKU GA NEMURU KORO
REIKETSU NARISEBA
VINUSHKA

Encore:
THE FINAL
STUCK MAN
GRIEF
THE DEEPER VILENESS
-Saku-
RASETSUKOKU

It was a great show.

Tangentially:

Asian bands/musicians I like (in no particular order except for Diru):
Japanese:
Dir en grey
L'arc~en~ciel/HYDE/VAMPS
LM.C
雅-MIYAVI-
The Gazette
Girugamesh
Janne Da Arc
Kuroyume
Alice Nine
An Cafe
Buck-Tick
Asian Kung-Fu Generation
Bump of Chicken
hide/hide with Spread Beaver/ZILCH
(OLD) X Japan
Plastic Tree
The Candy Spooky Theater
Tripolysm
Secret Fathers (they're indies)
Schwarz Stein (broken up)
DAS:VASSER (indies, broken up)
DELUHI
The Kiddie
Exist Trace (only all-female VK group I know of)
Mucc
Moi dix Mois
Malice Mizer (broken up? hiatus? Dunno.)
Kana/Moon Kana
Nakashima Mika
Tsuchiya Anna
my friend Homare (who for some reason calls himself "Music Fucker" even though he's adorable like a kitty and a perfect little gentleman)
Korean:
Jaurim

Guilty pleasures (Asian pop that I have a few songs from):
GACKT (it could be argued that he is still rock/visual kei)
Koda Kumi
Amuro Namie
Utada Hikaru
(ONE SONG from) V6 (called "Darling")
One Room Disco by Perfume
Hamasaki Ayumi
Big Bang
2NE1
Dong Bang Shin Gi
Wonder Girls ("Nobody")


Other music I like:
Tool/A Perfect Circle/Puscifer
Coheed and Cambria
The Beatles
The Offspring
Dropkick Murphys
Flogging Molly
Lacuna Coil
Straight Line Stitch
Shakira
Wisin y Yandel
Otep
Oomph!
Tenacious D
They Might Be Giants
Within Temptation
ANY song from the Silent Hill soundtracks with Mary Elizabeth McGlynn singing
Dalida
Robert Mirabal
Garbage
No Doubt
Yulia Savicheva
Eminem (Don't judge, he's hilarious)
M.I.A.
Lily Allen
Amy Winehouse
Imogen Heap

Good songs:
Chou Nan Ren by Huang Yida
Tonight by Hong Kyung Min
Bad Days by The Flaming Lips
Husvagn by Discocrew
Natalie Portman Rap by The Lonely Island
Still Alive by Johnathon Coulton and the chick who did the voice of GLaDOS


And there's a shitton of awesome soundtracks to movies (like Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Watchmen, etc)

Music is really fucking important in my life. I get very upset when my iPod battery is dead or it's deciding to be a bitch and crap out on me.

I have a presentation today in Japan Today with Kingston, and a speech on the 19th in Japanese with Koyama. Guess what my topics are?

Yep, VISUAL FUCKING KEI. =D

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sorry these are sporadic at best (LONG POST AHEAD)

SO a lot has happened. I will try to recap from memory as factually and chronologically as I can.

So I turned 21 on the 21st of September.

On the Sunday before that, I met Ryo at Shinagawa-eki (eki=station). Then we rode the train out to Yokohama, where he got lunch at Freshness Burger before getting his car and making the 2-3 hour drive to Kamakura. (Yes, Ryo drove all the way from Shiga-ken [ken = prefecture] to Yokohama. He said it took around 7 hours.)

We parked the car and went to a shrine (I don't remember the name, it was kinda long) where we made wishes, got fortunes, ate a candy apple, watched the koi fish in the pond, all while Ryo was explaining certain things about shrines to me. We saw a traditional Shinto style wedding party there! Ryo bought me these snake fortunes that are supposed to help me bring good luck and wealth. We went to a couple of shops near the shrine, where they had traditional dishes and lacquerware and chopsticks and mirrors and whatnot. There were also cell phone charms, geta sandals, and jewelry.

After that, we drove out to Enoshima. Everyone there is tan because everyone surfs and spends their time on the beach. There's a lot of Hawaiian-influenced stuff. THE WATER WAS NATURALLY WARM HOLY SHIT. As an Alaskan, that was a new experience for me, going to a real beach.

We stayed the night out there, then came back to Tokyo. Ryo stayed at the apartment with me. Sarah was sick and Maura was in America at the time. On my actual birthday, we went to Ueno, ate okonomiyaki, went to karaoke, then went back home.

I also received a happy birthday message from Myuji on mixi. That was awesome.

BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.

I was very very sad when Ryo left for Shiga-ken.

I met a guy named Hiro, who is in this silly idol group called VKB428 (http://www.vkb428.com/index.html). He's on the "K-team." They're supposed to be visual kei, but really, they're just pop. The only actually VK member is Taku (who is so freaking adorable oh my god). Hiro is also a model, he's been in magazines before. He's also half Italian, but doesn't look it. (Side note: Most people who are half Japanese and look full don't admit they're half over here, for various reasons.) They're all really good at singing, though.

OCTOBER. Dates are fuzzy.

KING OF TATTOO: My first tattoo convention. It was AWESOME. It was in Daikanyama (which is near Shibuya). So many tattoo artists and people from so many different countries. There were piercers, suspensions, Horiyoshi III, contests (including the facial piercing contest, which I got Shanghai'd into), my tattoo artist was there, and I made friends! =D I bought a t-shirt and got free posters.

At some point, I went to a Tripolysm live and gave Myuji/Chaka/Daigoro their omiyage (gifts) I brought them from Alaska. I got another Myuji guitar pick. =D

I feel like I'm forgetting something. >.o; Bah.

I bought pink and blue colored contacts. Bwahahaha. I can't wear them for long though, because the pigment makes my eyes hurt after a while.

Sarah and I went to a host club with her (not Japanese) friend Atsuko. I kinda had to translate a lot. It was fun though. Hard to understand some of the hosts though, cuz a lot of them were Kansai-jin (people from the Kansai region, which is where Kyoto/Osaka/Kobe are. Tokyo is in the Kanto region).

On the 28th, I finally got to see Dir en grey for the first time in almost four years. The last time was in Arizona in February of 2007. I don't care how old/creepy/weird/short Kyo is, I still love his voice and I still love the band and HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT LIVE WAS AMAZING. I went by myself, but my friends Jacey and Kris were there too. ^_^ My body was so sore the next night because EVERYONE was moshing. I could see Toshiya and Kyo very well from where I was standing. I almost cried during the encore, when they played THE FINAL. Holy shit. It was amazing.

The night before Halloween, Maura and I got dressed up (her costume was Trent, her own character) and I was "lazy VK drag king." We met up in Shibuya and went to Alcatraz, the prison-hospital-themed izakaya (restaurant). It was great. Afterwards, we meandered about, drinking, talking with random drunk people, stopped at Donki, looked at other people's costumes and the like. It was fun. I saw Hiro and he sang happy birthday to me because he had missed it. Halloween night (last night), Maura & I watched horror movies, and watched the Garfield Halloween special with her parents on Skype.

So on the day before Halloween, after another VKB428 live (gotta support your friends!) and before I hung out with Erin and Maura, I went to the Tower Records in Shibuya to see what was going on. I saw LM.C's new single at the "LISTEN TO THESE" section, so I did, grabbed a copy, and went to the register. The clerk asked me why I only had one copy. I was confused.

Apparently, the bright fucking yellow stickers with the kanji I couldn't read said "If you buy two copies, you get a ticket for an LM.C event" (paraphrasing). Long story short, event on Halloween in the basement stage of Tower Records.

So the next day I go, and I'm waiting in line. Apparently, (my mistake) it wasn't a live, but a "shake-hands" event where you go on stage, say hi to Maya-tan and Aiji, and shake their hands.

I turn to the chick behind me and ask what I should say. She laughs and says "Happy Halloween?"

So I get onto the stage, and my heart starts beating like crazy. Also MAYA IS FUCKING TALL. Like Miyavi height (around 6 feet). And he's even more hot in person, holy shit.

I get to Maya and say "Happii harowiin!" and shake his hand. He does not let go of my hand as he says (in English) "What country are you from?" I said America, and he says "Oh! Where in America?" and I say "Arasuka-shuu. (Alaska)" Then I couldn't talk cuz I was so nervous, and a staff member tapped my shoulder to say I should move onto Aiji.

I shake Aiji's hand and say "Happii harowiin! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu (nice to meet you)" to which Aiji replied "Nihongo shaberu no? (you can speak Japanese?)" I told him "sukoshi dake (only a little)." He asked if I was studying, and I told him yes, and then he said in English "Do your best!" I almost died.

I made friends with the chick behind me. Her name is Miki and she also lives in Nakano-ku!

Shit like all the stuff I mentioned above is the reason I love being here.