Waaayyy behind

Japanese kicks my ass. I'm pretty sure I've failed every kanji test we've had, but Prof. Maruki is really cool.

I fucking hate FYS. The whole concept is stupid and fuck the opera they want us to go see.

My dance class also kicks my ass because I'm not flexible and my balance sucks. I'm just glad it's not ballet.

Social Problems is also cool, and the professor's nice.

I have to take out another fucking loan to cover tuition this semester, and what the fuck am I supposed to do for Winter III?

The campus here is nice, lots of trees and lots of squirrels. The buildings are all brick.

My birthday's on Sunday! I'll be nineteen, yay!

The exchange students threw a combo party for me/Hiro/Nick tonight. It was fun. (Thank you Ding and Linh!) We all had our own cakes. It was awesome.

I seriously need sleep.

Update

It feels like it's been forever.

My roommate's cool. She's from Reno. Most of the people on my dorm floor are cool.

I've met and hung out with a lot of exchange students. The Japanese ones all seem to be impressed with my Japanese.

I've officially changed my schedule to thirteen credits:

FYS MWF 11:45am-12something

JAPN 301 MWF 2:15pm-3:05

Intro to Contemporary Dance MW 7:15pm-8:30

Social Problems TuThur 9:40am-10:50

I have to relearn keigo in Japanese. That makes me a sad panda. I'm just glad I'm not the only freshman in the class.

There's a lot of Hawaiians here. I like listening to them talk. "Travis, you're local, yeah? I'mma get you a ramen. You want a fork or hashi?" It's awesome.

I want to go on one of the trips they offer during Winter III. India or the Navajo res would be awesome.

I need to help one of the exchange students with their English homework.

Later.

Leaving tonight

I'm headed to college.

See all you AK peoples at Christmas.

Packing sucks

I'm tired of packingandcleaningandpacking and I leave the 18th and all I want to do is spend time with my boyfriend.

No offense to my friends.

I do miss Ryan (both J and N) and I know Kitty wants me to have a "shindig" before I leave, but I'm not really a party person.

Stephen, Nolan and I have been watching the Ghost School movies lately. They're these Korean horror movies set at an all-girl school. We've watched all but one because Stephen doesn't have it. I'm gonna keep a lookout for it. The movies are (English titles) Whispering Corridors, Memento Mori, Wishing Stairs, and Voice. The first three are really good but confusing. However, that might be because I don't know much about Korean culture. I also have a huge list of other Asian horror movies I wanna see, especially the originals of movies like The Grudge, The Ring, One Missed Call, etc.

I bought 香奈/Kana's latest album on iTunes! It's really good, but I guess her artist name is Moon 香奈 now. Ah well. Anyways, I love the songs Picnic and Usagi. It's silly.

I also really like Disturbia by Rihanna. She's got a good voice and the music's great too.

I bought new headphones. They better fucking last this time.

Rin and I preregistered for Kumoricon and we're also gonna try to go to the Diru concert in December.

I still haven't done the homework I need to do before the first day of class. I really don't want to reread Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer and write an essay on it. The guy was an idiot. Enough said. (Nothing wrong with the author, though.)

I hope I can get tattooed by Fat Lew, brother of Marc (my boss at Bosco's) in Portland. I just need to decide what I'm gonna get next.

I also got my hair redyed purple. Someday I'll try dark blue. What would be really sweet is if I could have my hair mostly purple, with chunks of pink and blue, and the under layer black. I wanna do that someday.

Whayne's been a DOUCHE lately. It's ridiculous. Nolan's mother's prolly gonna kick him out if he doesn't stop being such an asshole.

Stephen's leaving. Nolan and I are gonna go cuddle.

School Schedule

1. Identity & Meaning Mon/Wed/Fri 11:45AM - 12:50PM, w/Margolis

2. Intermediate Japanese Mon/Wed/Fri 01:00PM - 01:50PM, w/Maruki

3. Intro Spanish Lang & Culture Mon/Wed/Fri 02:15PM - 03:05PM, w/Wilbanks (probably gonna drop this, though, just so I'm not so crammed)

4. Begin Contemporary Dance I Mon/Wed 07:15PM - 08:30PM, w/??

5. Social Problems Tues-Thurs 09:40AM - 10:55AM, w/??

I'm glad my Japanese teacher is actually Japanese, and I think a girl I know is in my Sociology class.

I leave for college on August 18th at some ungodly hour. I'll be back for Christmas break.

Note to self: chocolate-covered bacon for Mr. Bevier, the Van Gogh coffee mug for Mr. Brown, and something awesome for Davis-sensei (Latin dance music CD?).

Pain

The knee that likes to dislocate has randomly started hurting again, which is disconcerting. If I move it too much, it might dislocate. If it stays bent for too long, it might dislocate.

It makes me a sad panda.

What makes me a happy panda, though, is the fact that I now own Battle Royale on DVD. It's awesome. Sadly, my copy of the book was stolen by an idiot ex-boyfriend who probably has still never read it. The film is amazing, the book is better, but the manga is SHIT. Battle Royale is like Lord of the Flies on crack with guns and government support.

I've been listening to a lot of Moi dix Mois and Schwarz Stein lately. Damn you, Mana! Curse my love of operatic harpsichordal Japanese rock music. Psycho le Cemu's also good, though.

I like shopping with my boyfriend.

Some d-bag on myspace tried to add me the other day. His profile was set to private, and his picture was of him with his shirt off. I asked him who he was and his reply was "i'm james...you're gorgeous." Yeah... not happening.

People are lame.

Memories

I found entirely too many old photos today.

I'm tired of feeling angry when I find a picture of someone who betrayed me, tired of feeling regret when I see the face of someone I no longer talk to.

I'm tired of missing the "old days" when it was okay to be stupid and reckless.

I'm tired of missing doing donuts with Joseph, tearing up Fireweed with the old gang, late night rides in CG's awesome car, having a great conversation with Tanner, being a mallrat with Gene, hanging out with Jasmine and Corinne at lunch, gaming till three in the morning at Stephen's, going to raves and seeing Caleb or Chelle, being a nerd with Ryan, watching anime and listening to Jrock with Heather.

I'm tired of missing all those things, because they aren't in my life anymore. I barely get to talk to Heather and Ryan, and I've lost most contact with everyone else who I haven't cut out of my life.

I'm tired of being angry and bitter for shit that my parents (and other people whom I stupidly trusted) have done to me.

I'm leaving for college soon. I don't know anyone there. I've wanted to get out of this shithole town, because everyone who I cared about left and I'm sick of the bad memories and stupid people, but now that I am leaving, I'm scared.

I've been alone most of my life, and I've found someone who I love and I don't want to leave him.

This sucks.